Perhaps as some kind of fan service, source material author Stephanie Meyer co-writes this film's script with this film series' consistent writer Melissa Rosenberg, and let me tell you, that doesn't exactly make this installment's script any better, because even though this script's quality leans more towards that of the decent "Eclipse", rather than the quality of the thoroughly mediocre "Twilight" and "New Moon", dialogue still gets to be pretty hokey, sometimes unnervingly so, to where the sting of the melodrama goes intensified.
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As if it's not bad enough that this film is formulaic, many of its tropes are taken from questionable sources, same as many of the tropes in any other "Twilight" installment, because even though this film's story isn't quite as bland as many are saying, it has some seriously thin spots in intrigue that it attempts to compensate for through the manufactured histrionics that are trademark for this series at this point, and made all the more glaring by the story's being interpreted into a messy script. The uniqueness to this series' story concept that was unveiled with the first installment has long been expired, and these films aren't getting any more refreshing, with this installment being anything but an exception, because even though my criticizing these story's as formulaic has itself become formulaic, make no mistake, when this film "finally" gets around to hitting some kind of a narrative direction, it follows a predictable path, and one that is bumpy enough without the familiarity. Oh yeah, Stephanie, it's good to see that this series is ending on the moral high-ground, but hey, at least it helps in keeping this film from being too boring to escape mediocrity, and yet, it can't quite wash away all of the flaws here. Interesting how Stephanie Meyer, in all of her Mormonism, has been making allegories about abstinence more-or-less throughout this series, and now that it's down to the wire, where the leads are married and can now make love without the judgment of the Lord who has already reserved a spot in Hell at least for one of them, the main girl has gotten married right out of high school and continues to tempt another man while she carries a baby that could kill her violently unless she commits her soul to Satan for eternal youth. Shoot, they certainly couldn't have gotten Condon because his filmography has been building up to a film like this, because there are no gods to go with these monsters who aren't even powerful enough to overcome a silly love triangle, as well no "Dreamgirl" to be found in this romance, no matter what is being said by these beautiful, supernatural boy toys who, according to audience reception, could get any teenaged idiot of the female. Yeah, you know that they probably just got Bill Condon to direct this film because it just hit the makers of this series that they never got around to getting a gay director, even though the series itself has been pretty consistently gay the whole way through. Man, if Alfred Kinsey was still alive and somewhere in this film, you know that he would have a field day writing "Sexual Behavior in a Vampire Male", something you would think this film is an adaptation of, - seeing as how it, like the "Kinsey Reports", is being forcibly split into two parts - if this material was actually that interesting. Okay, fine, this film is actually pretty decent, but come on, man, you would think that they could pump more excitement into a film that's basically about a vampire mating with a teenaged human, especially when we're dealing with the director of "Kinsey", for goodness' sake. Hey, one of the cooler things that you can say about this film is that it marks the "twilight" of a mediocre series we're tired of, which should, of course, let you know how low this film's standard of cool is.
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